You are haunting me
by FayeMia
Summary: A one- shot about Nasuada because love doesn't really go away, does it? No matter what you do and where you go, it stays with you.
1. You are haunting me

I hated the fact that Murtagh and Nasuada were left as they were without atleast a chapter about them. And this one-shot came out of nowhere.

I do not own any of the characters. If I did, they would be together!

Do share your thoughts.

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I cannot undo

what I have done;

I can't un-sing

A song that's sung.

And the saddest thing

About my regret -

I can't forgive me;

And you can't forget.

\- Long Leav

She remembers the taste of his wine stained mouth, almost like a forbidden sin. The salty and tangy taste with a generous splash of something that was simply him. The memory of it still has the power to make her head spin. She can feel his lips on her, moving in a dance as old as time itself and her cheeks heat up in a flash. His expert lips coaxing hers in a tease and she complying; the pleasure being out of this world. He plunders her mouth with ease giving so much and taking almost nothing. She is reminded of their first kiss, him being hesitant, almost scared; and she had waited so long for it to happen, she was sure she couldn't wait a minute longer. His lips fit on hers like perfection, and she is sure they were made for each other. The thought puts a smile on her face and everyone else wonders why their Queen is suddenly smiling when there was seemingly no joke.

It is with utmost care that she has stored and locked away all the memories of him and yet they come about to play in the most inappropriate moments. In the middle of a very important meeting about assigning jobs to the prisoner of Urubean, her heart hammers loudly in her chest remembering the feel of his fingers against her skin. The memory of his flaming touch on her heated skin has her heart racing harder than she would have thought possible.

She remembers his eyes, the gray of molten steel. And the gray of the stones, the comparisons itself oh so beautiful. She remembers the warmth and the love that his eyes betrayed, the glow in them making everything else seem a facade. His gray eyes holding the power to make her do anything he wanted, she was sure. The way his long eyelashes fanned his cheeks when he blinked. She searches for eyes like his in everyone she sees, never succeeding though.

Then there's the sinful curve of his mouth, the deliciously pink colour of his lips; with the dimples in his cheeks and she is transported to a completely different world. Even without the curve of his lips, he looks strikingly handsome. He somehow manages to leave her breathless and a pang of jealousy stabs her as the thought of him with another invades her mind. Afterall, he has been gone for a long time. She spends minutes trying to find Murtagh in Eragon's face whenever he contacts her. She finds him in his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes. She can trace Murtagh in the way his bottom lip curves in fullness. If Eragon notices her lapses and stares, he doesn't say anything.

In memories, she can hear his rich voice whispering her name like a melody and she swears it's the sweetest song she has ever heard. His voice speaking to her in moments of pain and in moments of pleasure, so deep in texture filling her with hope.

'You know why.'

His words echo in her head over and over again, like a chant and she holds on to it alongwith his promise that he will be back.

His laugh resounds in her body, the happiness evident in his voice. The sound makes her body hum with pleasure, in remembrance of a happier time and an unexpected smile creeps it's way on her lips. His laugh echoes in her mind for a long time and she carefully goes through the so few memories of it. It dips deep in the recesses of her skin, folding itself into her, whispering her words of hope.

She hears his heartbeats at nights, the erratic sound having a calming effect. Erratic, because that is exactly how his heart always felt, her face pressed against his chest, that is how his heart always beat in her proximity. His heartbeat sings a melody only she can understand and her own heart responds to it. It dances across her curves leaving behind a hint of melancholy that resides deep within her. It doesn't last long as the cycle begins again.

She traces the dangerous edges of his cheekbones, hard beneath her soft skin and her heart fills with emotions she can't control. She remembers the sound that escapes his lips at her move and a pain echoes through her at the loss of something she never had.

The Red Rider, as he has come to be known, haunts her dreams; venturing to places that have been previously out of reach. He never stays though, not for long anyway. He is gone as soon as daylight creeps. He is a beautiful dream, a promise of a happy future and she is damned as he dances just out of her reach.

He rushes through her like wildfire, destroying everything in its path. Destroying, building, shaping and changing until she is left with nothing but a mess of herself. She hates herself for it; she hates herself for the fact that every night she breaks down alone. Every night she goes to sleep with his thoughts and taste in her mouth and every morning she wakes up alone with his memories surrounding her and with the fact that she loves him glaring at her face.

Yes, she loves in him; in fire and in blood. She loves him with every fibre of her being and everything in her is aware of the fact. She craves his mouth, his hair and his touch; she craves him more than a drunkard craves for drinks. Silent and starving, her blood races through her for him until she can't breathe. Every inch of her skin thrums with her love for him; she knows that she will wait for him till the end of the time. Till the time he comes back and he will come back. Because Murtagh always keeps his promises, no matter what.

So I wait for you

Like a lonely house

Till you see me again

And live in me.

Till then my windows ache...

\- Pablo Neruda

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I have another happier one on the line. Let me know if you'd like to read it.


	2. there's the light you give me

Hi. Thank you for your review. This is the happier one shot I promised in the afternote. Hope you like it. It's in Nasuada's POV.

I made Nasuada a rider. Because I refuse to believe that she will die before everyone(read Murtagh) else.

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Then he smiles, that roguish grin of his, and every waking thought alongwith every tiresome worry leaves my mind. Sometimes, I wonder why the whole world doesn't stop when he smiles; he's one of the most handsome man in all of Alagasia. And he is all mine. That thought increases my happiness at seeing him tenfold. He shakes the snowflakes from his hair, hair that is longer than he has ever had. To be honest, I liked him with longer hair. It gave me something to clutch on to when his attentions became overly confident.

'Nasuada.' he says my name like a prayer as he comes to stand right in front me and my heart races.

'you're quite early today,' I tell him, before wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. He obliges, bending down and capturing my lips in his. Again, I cease thinking when his lips touch mine, the sensation making me lightheaded. His hands curve around my waist, pulling me closer to himself and even that isn't enough because the bump gets in the way. I groan and he pulls back a little to check the reason for my frustration. He stares at my face for some seconds before finally understanding and a laugh escapes him. The sound is music to my ears, beautiful and almost alien, and for a moment the whole world does stop for me. I stare at him as he struggles to stop laughing, the dimples in his cheeks displaying themselves.

'this is not funny.' I feign anger and he sobers up even though his eyes still shine with mirth.

'I didn't say it was funny!' he replies back before tightening his hold on me and pulling me closer.

'Mahira is with Thorn and Eragon,' he continues, his fingers tracing circles on my back. I hum in response as I enjoy his attention, already aware of my dragon's location. He tilts his head to one side, narrowing his eyes, 'Are you angry at me?'

I look up from where I have been busy staring at the movement of his throat with amusement. He keeps looking at me with those dark eyes and then I can't resist anymore so I push myself up on my toes and tangle my fingers in his hair before pulling his head down and kissing him again. His lips open up in surprise and I seize the chance to pull him in deeper. He gives in, like always. It has always been the same with us, me demanding and him giving in. Sometimes, it is annoying but then not everyone has a husband who loves their wife as much as mine does.

Breaking the kiss due to lack of air, I smile up at him, letting him know that I wasn't really angry. His face breaks into that breathtaking smile of his and my heart almost misses a beat. To break the moment, almost as if complaining about being ignored, the baby kicks. Hard. Hard enough that even Murtagh feels it.

'she's quite active, isn't she? Takes after her mother,' he teases me.

'I am quite sure of her inheriting that trait from you. So how was your day?' I reply back with a question before lacing my fingers through his.

'again, I almost killed Eragon. He seems to take undue advantage of the fact that he is my brother,' he growls out, the low voice sending tingles on my skin. I give myself a moment to gather the wandering thoughts before replying, 'He _is_ your brother.'

'oh you think I don't know that?' Murtagh scoffs and the look on his face forces a chuckle from me.

'You can laugh but I'd like to see what you'd do if Arya pesters you about the baby. If the baby is the only thing she wants to talk about, you'd be tired in moments!' he growls again and I silently laugh at his misery.

'what exactly did he do?' this time I ask him.

'At moments, Eragon seems more excited about my child than me! Don't think into it more than it is, because I _am_ bloody excited about it. Quite few times a day, I have the urge to murder him just to get him to stop chattering about the baby. He even had the audacity to suggest names! Can you believe it? Saphira too joins him!' his voice rises an octave as he blurts out Eragon's antics and I have to stifle a laugh.

'What a co-incidence! Even I thought of same names.' I say to distract him and reach up to brush away the stray strand of hair from his eyes.

'oh did you? Tell me,' excitement run clear in his eyes as they land on my face.

'Mikaela. It means God's gift and Elinor. Or Eleanor which means shining light,' I say before winding my arms around his neck.

'it's an adorable name.' he replies back.

'you don't like it?' I ask him when he doesn't look too excited.

'I do! I love it,' he replies back before dipping his head down to brush his lips against mine. I reach up automatically, tangling my fingers in his hair, relishing the silky feel of them; and pull him closer. He tightens his grip around me a fraction and my head spins when his teeth bite my lower lip.

He moves away from my lips to press kisses along my jaw and I chant his name before my head gets around the fact that Murtagh is trying to distract me. And his plan is working as I cannot pull my thoughts together with his lips doing sinful things to me.

'Murtagh...' I moan out his name and he lets his hands join the wandering paths of his lips under my flimsy tunic.

'Murtagh!' I say out loudly this time, placing my hand on his to stop him from going further. His lips break contact with my skin and I immediately feel the loss but I do get his attention.

'what's wrong?' I keep my hands in his hair, moving my fingers in a leisurely way while the baby kicked away lightly.

'nothing's wrong! I...' he trails off.

'I what, Murtagh?' I tug at his hair gently this time when he doesn't answer at once. I brush my lips lightly against his, pulling away before he can deepen the kiss to elicit an answer from him.

He groans lightly at my teasing, his lips turning down in a frown.

'Hey! That's not fair!'

'Everything is fair in love and war. And this is a bit of both. So first I get the reason and then you get me,' I say with a smirk and his eyes widen.

'you're stubborn.' He frowns before adding,' it's just that even Eragon suggested the name Elinor.'

'Go on,' I prod him.

'it's just plain irritating that he has been able to suggest such a nice, elegant name and I wasn't! The best I have ever thought of is Nikolina. It means, Victorious. I heard it during my travels and it just sounded beautiful and so glorious. But here's Eragon suggesting such a pretty name. Then even you suggest such nice names. It's just overwhelming me and I have been wondering if i'll be a good father. Morzan wasn't a very good example of a father and the thought of following his footsteps simply terrifies me.' he says this all in a rush and it shakes me to the core because it has been so long that he has been insecure.

At first, the fact that he has been upset just because of Eragon had seemed quite funny but then his words sink in.

Despite what many people seem to think, Murtagh is a good person, always has been. And he is an even better husband.

This time I kiss him full on the mouth, not giving him any time to react and push myself against him as much as my bump allows. He holds me gently, placing a hand against my back for support. Breaking the kiss, I place my hands on either of his cheek and stare into his eyes.

'Listen to me, Murtagh, listen to me very carefully. You are a good person, a very good brother and the best husband anyone could have ever wished for. You bring me flowers, you understand me on a level that no one does and you love me for who I am. You will be the best father just like you are the best husband and no one and nothing is going to change that fact. You are nothing like Morzan and you will never ever be anything like him.' I tell him with a conviction that rings clear in my voice. Because I know that it's true and I want him to understand that.

He stares at me for a few seconds with an alien look in his eyes and I wonder what he is thinking. Then something goes on, almost as if a switch and he presses his lips against my forehead in that gentle way of his. I almost melt in his arms, it is in moments like this that I realise how fortunate I am that he came back.

'thank you,' he whispers against my forehead.

'and we are naming her Nikolina Elinor. It's a beautiful name.' I tell him with a smile prompting him to shake his head.

'Mikaela is a pretty name!'

'I know. But Nikolina is much prettier and is just perfect because she is a victory for us. And a shining light.' I say, resting my forehead against his.

'but-'

I interrupt him before he can complete his sentence, 'You don't get to argue with a pregnant woman, Rider. She will be Nikolina Elinor and that's it.'

He dips his head to my neck, placing it there and an urge to tease him gets hold of me.

'Eragon is going to love it.' I whisper and he lets out a growl before biting down lightly on my shoulder. I groan in pleasure and all is forgotten as he gathers me up in his arms, taking me to our room.

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Done, done. Let me know if you liked it!


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